Today's Moment: Near Death

Here is Today's Moment for your Consideration: Near Death

I almost died last night.

Or thought it.

All three of us (Hubby, me and Son) had had a reasonably-good day yesterday. Stressed about money, health, the weather, and did I say money? but still we were looking forward to another Family Fun Time after dinner. As we ate, we were laughing and joking about our next (and our last) house that we need to start searching for soon. Giggling and laughing and having fun.

I must have inhaled some dinner instead of swallowing; that part is fuzzy. Suddenly, I couldn't breathe. Hubby and Son continued making jokes as I struggled to get a cough out. Success but only out. I couldn't inhale. Another cough out. And another. They got concerned but I couldn't say anything. I didn't even have the presence of mind to give the sign for "choking" (hands cross over throat). The thoughts that went through my head: "I can't leave my baby - he's too young" and "no sense for Hubby to look for a new house" and "what did I inhale - a baseball?". I grabbed my napkin as I felt my stomach contents try to push the particle aside. Still couldn't inhale as I made my way to the kitchen (why? I don't know). Finally, as a yellow cloud started to envelope me, the particle came up and I breathed. Again. And again. I finally got enough air, in between more coughing to get my respiratory system going again.

The particle was about the size of a pinto bean.

Nobody ever discusses how choking makes one feel afterwards. I sat on the couch, unable to move except for coughing a couple of times a minute. It finally slowed down to where I could hold a conversation. But didn't want to. Unbelievable pain. My neck and collar bones hurt from the coughing. The back bottom part of my head felt like it would split, as well as the front and temples. I felt like I'd been beaten up.

I dragged myself up the stairs. Literally. I was on my hands and knees, with Hubby following. I crawled into bed, turned out the lights, and lay there with the Chihuahua snuggled against me. "Isn't it funny how dogs can sense things?" After Hubby tucked me in then put my dinner away and joined Son downstairs for a while, Hubby brought the rest of his dinner up to the bedroom while Son got ready for bed. Hubby finished eating while Son lay beside me, telling me stories to help me calm down. Then Hubby "sandwiched" me, until Son got up to finish brushing his teeth, and went to his room to read.

Once I could swallow again, I took three pain killers, and an hour or so later, another two. I cuddled the dog and later, Hubby as we tried to sleep. He slept. Dog and I didn't. The night was long in passing, but when morning came, I felt a little better.

I probably wasn't very close to an actual near-death experience, but as I was going through the moment, it felt very real. Gave me a chance to be thankful for living.